OPPO's here for you.

"davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction)
09/09/2020 at 10:49 • Filed to: None

You matter.

You are loved.

You have a future.

If you need to talk, OPPO’s here for you.

Rest in peace, Ronnie.

DISCUSSION (40)

E90M3 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 10:59

What happened?

It’s really a weird thing to think about a bunch of strangers on the internet having your back, but oppo really does.

TysMagic > E90M3
09/09/2020 at 11:00

its quite true. Oppo is good people

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 11:03

Damn, I hadn’t heard this....it’s a shame he left this world, and that’s a pretty heart-rending message to end on. Cruel to subject those on social media to such a violent end though, as judging of me as that is to say :(

CalzoneGolem > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 11:04

Oppo really is there for you. I’m there for you.

InFierority Complex > E90M3
09/09/2020 at 11:04

It’s the last post of a guy that live streamed his suicide on Facebook.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > E90M3
09/09/2020 at 11:07

This is the Army vet who livestreamed his suicide... Apparently, sadly/disgustingly, it went “viral” on TikTok this past week. I’m old, so not on TikTok, but I’d heard about it (but thankfully didn’t see it). He posted this message just before he took his life.

I’m hopeful any Oppo knows that they have someone to talk to, and probably someone close enough who would meet them in person to help them get through a tough time.

Boxer_4 > E90M3
09/09/2020 at 11:08

I think it’s in reference to this:

https://nypost.com/2020/09/09/ronnie-mcnutt-shared-heartbreaking-message-before-suicide/

(I feel weird about sharing a NY Post link, but it’s all I can find other than links from the Sun or Daily Mail).

I’ve been here for over 10 years now - the supportiveness of the people here is what makes this place great.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars
09/09/2020 at 11:13

My mom has dealt with depression for years (bipolar). Often, when someone gets to this point, they are no longer thinking rationally (and they can’t be reasoned with) due to a chemical imbalance in their brain. While it’s easy for us to judge someone who does this, and causes so much pain and hardship for the family and friends they leave behind, it’s important to know that they’re sick, and suffering , and that they really aren’t in their right mind...

AdamB > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 11:13

Very sad. I saw the video and the fact that he didn’t even hesitate really bothered me. The fact that he had hit such a rock bottom to do that. And even his mom was watching the stream.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > AdamB
09/09/2020 at 11:15

I’m sorry you saw it...

His mom? Damn.

E90M3 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 11:17

Oh yikes, that’s sad.

AdamB > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 11:22

Yeah it was pretty bad. Apparently his mom and friends were watching. The worse part is that people spread it all over social media, even videos for little kids. I’m a teenager and have seen some worse stuff than that and it got in my head for a good day or two. I can’t imagine a 5 or 6 year old watching that. Sometimes I really hate my generation.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > AdamB
09/09/2020 at 11:26

This is exactly why I’m super against giving my kids unrestricted access to the internet/YouTube or social media apps (my oldest is 13) . Honestly, I may not let them have accounts until they’re 17/18 or in college...

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Boxer_4
09/09/2020 at 11:59

That’s well, really sad. And between that and the Holocaust survivor “meme,” it makes me glad I avoided the cesspool that is Tik Tok. It’s very telling on our society that people are using this tragic video to rub his name in the dirt.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 12:00

I have a bi polar friend and have known people have have suffered with depression and suicidal thoughts and it’s really hard to know what to do sometimes.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 12:06

It really depends on the mutual sense of trust you have to instill in them. The internet is a big scary place and you have to know what not to do. I really limit the actual number of sites I regularly visit and for the most part social media is just depressing. Especially when it is just filled with pictures of your friends getting together without masks. But I only ever got instagram and even that I stay off of because I’m happier without it really.

Basically I have a few Youtube channels I watch and Oppo. I understand why some people would want to be connected and social media has a lot of possibilities but giving your children access should come with accountability.

And the whole internet thing is also difficult as pornography is always a few clicks away and that stuff doesn’t ever really leave your head. It’s so tough to find the right balance and I know I fall short often but that’s why I pray and read the Bible. I really was missing in person Bible studies but there’s a great campus ministry here that takes social distancing very seriously so there’s that.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
09/09/2020 at 12:10

Yes, it definitely is. All you can do is to be there for them (whether they want you around or not) , encourage them to get help if they seem to be losing control of their mood/mind, and make sure their loved ones are aware of what’s going on.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
09/09/2020 at 12:17

I understand wanting to be connected and feeling like they’re missing out, but the downsides just seem to outweigh the upsides. I go back to the idea that you can never “unsee” something, and I want to shelter them from the horrible darkness of the world as long as I can...

I’m thankful our kids have a really good youth group at our church; glad you have a good place to go on campus, too.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 12:30

I can remember one time I just stood besides him with my hand on him and prayed as that was all I could do. It’s difficult sometimes but just physical presence can mean a lot. Too bad I haven’t been able to see him for a while as his nearby university is not in person. Fortunately he has a great group of people around him that care about him even when he finds it hard to remember that but I do need to check up on him more often.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
09/09/2020 at 12:35

Do it today. Just let him know you were thinking of him.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 12:37

Indeed. I would be such a happier and more productive person I didn’t struggle with pornography. That stuff just tears you up. There are lots of mutual accountability apps that you can use for that sort of thing. I used Covenant Eyes for a while and it was a great deterrent. I think letting them have one social media would be reasonable but any of them can be misused. I do think Insta is one of the less bad ones. Tik Tok? Ugh. Absolute cesspool.

Getting actually connected with a church community is a great thing. Historically I’ve always really not had many friends at church but maybe two years ago my family switched to one where my high school friend and current roommate goes and that helped a lot. I’ve been trying to get the numbers of people at the campus ministry so I can try to get to know them better. It’s hard to balance that with architetorture school (living up to its name haha) but it’ll work. I need to organize another friendly chips-only poker night. Those are fun and low risk.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 12:39

I did. Thank you.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 12:41

True, I just can’t imagine somebody leaving behind a video of themselves shooting themselves in the head for their family to potentially witness.....tragic :(

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
09/09/2020 at 13:17

It’s been said “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” - whether true or not, our friends have a huge impact on us, so it’s important to choose wisely.

I’d love to see some of your architecture sketches on OPPO sometimes. That’s what I wanted to go into after high school, but I “wimped out” and started with civil engineering...

OPPOsaurus WRX > AdamB
09/09/2020 at 14:50

i was like, it cant be that bad..... wow was i wrong.

Captain of the Enterprise > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 15:00

Thank you, I appreciate it. I’ve attempted but stopped it myself as I was running a car in a garage. I’ve struggled with my trauma and anxiety and depression and suicidal thoughts a lot. I’m so thankful for my therapist and that I’ve gotten myself help. I go to therapy twice a week and am on medications and both help me a lot.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Captain of the Enterprise
09/09/2020 at 15:07

So glad you thought better of it before there was no turning back ... and that you’ve got a good therapist and medications that help. You now have a powerful gift of hope that you can give to others who struggle with the same things , since you’ve actually been where they are and made it out.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 15:11

If that is true, then I’ve done well. I’ve friends with some pretty fantastic people that have definitely been good influences. It also helps that one of them is my roomie this year.

“wimp” and civil don’t go together well. They’re both pretty intensive fields. I’m only a first year but I’ve definitely been. That’s what my brother’s major is but he’s still studying here. Interesting field though. They take a different skill set and I think a lot of people will be changing their majors to that form architecture this fall. It’s a pretty big freshma n class even if I’ve never seen them all in one place.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
09/09/2020 at 15:22

No offense to your brother. It was the “safe” choice in my mind at the time. I wasn’t brave enough to pursue architecture. Turns out it was the wrong path, but I still stuck with it for 3 years before making a change. I ended up with a BFA in graphic design, later went back for some post-grad work in GIS and I’ve been very fortunate to have great success for the past 15 years doing mapping & software support for a group of geologists & engineers.

I wouldn’t have met my amazing wife if I’d made the “right” choice and done architecture right after high school. =)

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 15:40

My brother interned with a surveying company at first and that’s what really led him to Civil. It makes sense as he has more of a math brain than me and I have more of a knack for the creative design part. Of course there is more to it than that but I’m not halfway through first year. I’ve almost finished the pin-up for my first studio project.

3 years is a long time to stick with it before changing. Must have been difficult but it seems clear you made the right decision. You can do such a large range of things with that background but geological mapping and software support for geologists and engineers sounds interesting.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
09/09/2020 at 15:58

Taking drafting in HS is what made me want to pursue architecture, but I was really good at math and science in HS, and the idea that engineering was a more “sure thing” career was definitely big to me, as my family was just scraping by when I was a kid. I have a very creative mind, but I’m not a natural when it comes to drawing. I can make a nice pencil drawing, but it’s a lot of work, and very technical in its execution (Illustrator > Photoshop - my wheelhouse is logo design).

I knew fairly quickly I was on the wrong path, but just told myself to stick it out, and that maybe I could get a masters in architecture afterward . Very hard to apply yourself to something that’s not right for you, though (I got a 1.3 one semester in engineering, but perfect grades in design).

It’s a good fit for me, and my current job pays very well and is pretty low-stress , but I’m also always thinking about what my second career will be (and continue to do some freelance design on the side). I don’t see myself in the same job in my 50s.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 16:32

I taught myself to draw but it isn’t the technical sort you indicated. I find it hard to draw by hand precisely but I also never took a drafting class in HS as one wasn’t offered. It’s all digital now and I can do that.

I’m not entirely sure what I’d do with a degree but I have enough time to get to know the field better. I’m fairly confident I will stick with the major but I don’t want to really say too much until after my first year is over.

Captain of the Enterprise > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 17:05

Thank you, I want to work doing something to help others with mental illness and trauma. It would be really nice for me to be able to use my struggles to help others.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
09/09/2020 at 17:14

I had college-level drawing, painting, sculpture, color theory, etc. as part of my BFA. Challenging for someone with a more technical mind and not a natural artist, but a great foundation, and I’d learned AutoCAD prior to that in engineering school.

I’m rooting for you!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Captain of the Enterprise
09/09/2020 at 17:21

My wife and I have friends who lost their baby at 9 months, due to the umbilical cord wrapping around his neck. A horrific tragedy that just crushed the mother for a long time. Now, a decade later, she is very active in a group that counsels women and families who have gone through similar hardships, and they’ve adopted several kids. There can be joy on the other side of the most terrible things in life; you just have to keep going.

Captain of the Enterprise > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 18:52

Thank you for sharing. I’m working on keeping going. I’m hopeful that things will improve for me after I graduate in December and hopefully get a job and can move out.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/09/2020 at 19:50

Thank you. I just turned in my first major project and it’s gone very well. I’d never used Illustrator before.

I don't have the technical side of things established like you have but I'm not quite sure the path my academic career will take just yet.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Captain of the Enterprise
09/09/2020 at 20:08

You got this. Home stretch!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
09/09/2020 at 20:09

I look forward to following along!

Captain of the Enterprise > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
09/10/2020 at 09:01

Thank you!